


pushed by a breeze

by weatheredlaw



Series: all the way across the universe [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Character Death, Gen, Hallucinations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: Lucretia expected to go first. She expected to fade away.Fate and her family have other plans.





	pushed by a breeze

**Author's Note:**

> now a part of a really sad series about taz characters dying.

_But you can set sail to the west if you want to_  
_And pass the horizon, 'til I can't even see you_  
_Far from here_  
_Where the beaches are wide_  
_Just leave me your wake to remember you by_

 

* * *

 

If he had stayed behind, Lucretia would have had no peace. Even though it _hurt_ – even though losing him was so much like being left out alone in the cold, without a coat – Lucretia could say that she was happy he'd moved on.

It left her alone, to fill the empty spaces of their home he'd left behind, but she couldn't say she was without company. Angus and Taako hardly ever let her eat by herself, and Merle and Davenport came by as often as they could, to play cards or drink wine – but when they were gone, when the house was empty of everything but Lucretia and her books – she found herself wishing, just...every so often, that he'd had a bit of unfinished business in this world.

So that she might be a little less alone.

 

* * *

 

“ _Hey.” He walked into her office and perched on the corner of her desk. Lucretia wondered if he remembered building her this desk, it was so late into their cycles, well after their year at the conservatory. If he did, he never mentioned it, but he put his hand over the wood, felt out the grain and finish, and smiled. “I had a question.”_

_Lucretia leaned back in her chair and smiled. “I may have an answer.”_

“ _I'm building a house,” he said. “A big one. Got some land, got the materials. Handful of folks volunteered to help.”_

“ _That's good. You've wanted that for a long time.”_

_Magnus nodded. He kept his gaze on her desk, eyes scanning over the contracts and letters, lingering on the yew wand lingering on the corner opposite him._

“ _...Magnus?”_

“ _Would you come live with me?” He finally looked at her. “Angus is going to, but Angus is going to grow up eventually. You and me...we're just gonna get old.” He gave her a smile. “I've missed you, Lu. You're...my sister. And I want us to be with each other, you know? There's no reason for you to be alone anymore. You've been alone enough.”_

_Lucretia sighed. “Magnus, I don't know--”_

“ _No,” he said. “Don't say that.” He finally sat down in the chair across from her. “Don't say you don't know.” He reached out and took her hands. “Say yes, instead.”_

_She smiled. “You don't want to live with me--”_

“ _I do. I want us to grow old together. I want us to get all domestic and spoil Angus rotten and bake bread and get a bunch of dogs and have people over.”_

“ _You can do that without me.”_

_He shrugged. “Sure. Doesn't mean I want to.”_

 

* * *

 

“ _Lucretia! Lucretia, you up?_ ”

She was. She didn't want to be, but she was, in the loosest sense. Angus's familiar steps sounded up the stairs, and he knocked softly on her door before pushing it open.

“Lucretia?”

She lay very still. Angus sighed and came to the bed, perching on the edge of it and reaching out to put a sturdy hand on her shoulder.

“You can't lay in bed all morning.”

“I wasn't,” she lied.

“I fed Noelle.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you want some breakfast?”

She looked at him. “Shouldn't you be at work?”

“I'm still off for the week. Lucas said it was alright.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Come on. I'll make some eggs and bacon, okay?”

Lucretia nodded and waited for him to head back down. She showered and dressed before stepping into the hall. It was on the top step she paused, craning her neck to hear –

It was a familiar sound. Like water running in the sink and someone...whistling. Singing to themselves. The way Magnus did in the mornings when he shaved. Lucretia knew it wasn't him. She was all too aware of having _buried_ Magnus, but that didn't stop her from walking down the hall and standing just outside the bathroom, closing her eyes and remembering –

“ _You excited about today?”_

“ _Of course,” she called from her room._

“ _Pretty great, huh? A whole year later and folks are gettin' married, moving on.” Lucretia came out of her room and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, watching him clean the last bits of shaving cream from his face. He grinned at her reflection. “You look nice.”_

“ _Why thank you, Mr. Burnsides.”_

“ _You look happy, too, Lu.” He turned to face her and reached out to take her hands. She gave them up willingly. “Like...really happy.”_

“ _I am happy.”_

_Magnus smiled. “I believe it,” he said, and pulled her in to kiss her forehead. “I really do.”_

 

* * *

 

“Hey, you're up.” Angus grinned at her from the stove, flipping eggs in the skillet. “Feeling okay?”

Lucretia nodded and settled into one of the kitchen chairs. Angus turned and placed a cup of coffee in front of her. “Thank you.” He nodded.

When he'd finished, they sat together and ate as Lucretia quizzed Angus about his semester at the academy, what sorts of students he had. He was so animated, talking with her easily, hands moving above his plate as he talked about his lesson plans and some of his most promising students.

Sometimes he reminded her of Magnus, the way he'd taken on his little ticks. Sometimes –

_thunk!_

Lucretia dropped her fork.

“...Lu?”

_thunk!_

She stood.

“Lucretia, what--”

_thunk!_

She was out the backdoor before Angus could stop her, moving around to the back of the house, frantic, desperate to see him, desperate to know –

Davenport looked up from the woodpile, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Morning! Angus asked me to come over and chop some wood for you before it gets much colder.” Lucretia stared. Davenport tipped his head to the side. “Lucretia?”

“I--”

_thunk!_

“ _Magnus?”_

_He looked at her as she stepped outside, letting the ax hang down at his side. “Hey.”_

_She stepped closer. “Are you...are you alright?”_

_He shrugged, bending down to grab a piece of wood, placing it square on the stump and bringing the ax clean down the middle._

_thunk!_

“ _You've been out here all morning.”_

“ _It's fine.”_

_She sighed. “Magnus--”_

“ _Lucretia. Drop it. Just...” He shook his head. Placed wood on the stump. Brought the ax down._

_She nodded. “Alright. Whatever...whatever you need.”_

Davenport's hand was suddenly grasping her own. Lucretia looked down. “Davenport.”

“Hey,” he said. “Let's go back inside.”

“...Alright.”

Angus was standing in the doorway as Davenport led her back toward the house. Lucretia didn't like the way they looked at her. She didn't like the way they talked loudly in the kitchen about anything but Magnus. She didn't like the way Davenport carefully helped her into the living room so she could rest and read.

But she let him. She let all of them do this, whenever they were around. If it made them feel better about her being left behind, or Magnus going first, then she'd allow it. And it was a comfort, just a handful of days after saying goodbye – perhaps she, and her heart, needed to be handled with care.

Just for now. Just for a bit. Just until she could stand on her own again.

 

* * *

 

Angus went back to work, and Lucretia went back to taking care of herself. She woke early, made breakfast, tended the garden. She took care of the last dog they still had, allowing her into the house, something she protested against when Magnus was still alive.

Now she allowed Noelle to sit by her feet while she read, or lay on the rug in the kitchen as she cooked. She could imagine Magnus sitting at the table, teasing her for giving in.

“ _She's a good dog, isn't she?”_

“Yes, Magnus. She's a very good dog. I never felt otherwise.”

“ _You should give her a treat, she'll like it.”_

“I won't feed her table scraps.”

She could imagine his laughter, imagine him teasing her through the morning, _imagine_ –

“Lucretia?” She looked up from the stove as Taako shut the front door, holding a bag of groceries. Noelle eased herself up and walked over to him, sniffing the bag and making a soft noise as Taako scratched behind her ears. “Hey, you.” He ran a hand under her jaw before heading into the kitchen. “Brought some necessities.”

“You didn't have to.”

Taako shrugged, reaching into the bag. He pulled out some chocolate and a few boxes of tea, a loaf of crusty bread and a carton of eggs. “Just a few things I thought you might need.” He started putting things away. “How are you?”

“I'm...fine.” Taako snorted. “It's not a lie.”

“It's not the truth, either.”

Lucretia sighed. She moved the pot off the stove and ran a hand through her hair. “It's just quiet. I'd forgotten what that... _felt_ like.”

“Never quiet where Magnus is concerned, huh?”

Lucretia laughed. “No. No it isn't.” She thought about telling him of the little sounds, the little parts of her day where she could swear he was there, she could _swear_ that Magnus was feeding the dogs or fixing the leaky pipe under the sink.

But Noelle was the only hound left, and the pipe had long since stopped dripping.

“...Lucretia?”

“Hmm?”

Taako leaned against the counter, folding his arms over his chest. Sometimes he used to look at her like he didn't even know her, like she was a stranger to him. But he looked at her like that less and less as the years went on, as they got further from that _day_ , closer to the inevitable.

But he didn't seem to want that. Instead he grinned and said, “You wanna see if Davenport'll take us out on his boat?”

Lucretia smiled.

“I'd like that very much.”

 

* * *

 

“ _Maybe we should move closer to the beach.” Magnus looked over at her. “Can you move the house over here?”_

“ _No, Magnus.”_

_He sighed. “What's the point of magic then?”_

“ _I don't know,” she said dryly. The were stretched out on a blanket on the beach, watching the stars. “You'd miss your little spot on the hill,” she teased._

“ _Yeah, you're right.” He reached down and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “We'll let the beach be Merle's thing.”_

“ _And the hill is ours?”_

_Magnus glanced over and smiled. “Sure is, sis.”_

 

* * *

 

They wanted to honor her, and at first, Lucretia refused.

“ _Lucretia._ Let 'em _do it._ ” Lup slid into the chair next to her at the kitchen table and put an arm around her shoulders. “Let 'em sing your praises.”

“I hardly think there's a need for that.”

“You led the Bureau through the reconstruction,” Taako said, pulling a roast from the oven. “You should get a thank you for that.”

“That the world is healed is thank you enough.”

Taako rolled his eyes. “Just go and take the compliment, Lucretia. Good grief.” He put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “I can confidently say that you...you _deserve_ a little honor. A _lot_ of honor. Just let them say thank you. Besides, there's going to be a statue, so _I'm_ going because _I_ need to make sure they did it right.”

Lup nodded sagely. “We gotta make sure they did the ears the right way. Humans always mess up the ears.”

“ _You deserve this.”_

Is what Magnus would have said.

 

* * *

 

“...sometimes I think I can see him, you know? It's just a memory, just...just after years of watching him chop wood on the side of the house, or...or hearing him sing while he shaved.”

To admit this to Taako was...freeing. He didn't judge, and she never really thought he would. He reached over that day and took her hand, and Lucretia thought she could feel Magnus right there. She thought she could feel the way it felt years and _years_ ago, when Magnus Burnsides smiled at her for the first time – _really_ for the first time, on the Starblaster.

She was twenty. He was nineteen.

They were _children_ , and the entire universe was expanding under their fingertips.

Cycle twenty, Magnus dragged her to a bar, called her his sister for the first time, and taught her to dance.

Cycle thirty-one, Lucretia died for the first time, and Magnus held her close until she was gone.

Cycle fifty-seven, he nearly burnt the ship down baking her a cake.

Cycle eight-two, they sat in front of Fischer's tank and held hands, and Magnus told her everything he was afraid of, and she told him everything she loved.

That year on the beach – he taught her to build sandcastles and she taught him to float.

“ _That's my brother!”_ she shouted, the year Magnus got roped into a fighting tournament. He lifted her, spun her around, and Lucretia had _family_ like she'd never had before.

 

* * *

 

That last day, she settled into her chair and let her book fall open in her lap. Her family was there. Someone had brought her flowers. She was worried about the frost and the hydrangeas in the garden, and Davenport kissed her cheek and said, _I'll take care of it._ He pulled on his boots and went outside.

Carey and Killian were laughing in the kitchen. There was bread baking in the oven. Angus's voice rang out, and it was a _bell_.

And she felt it, the clean snip of a thread between this life and the one that would come after. And Kravitz's hand rested on her shoulder, and she stood up from her chair, and stepped from this place – and into the next.

“You look beautiful,” Kravitz said.

“You flatter me,” she said dryly, and he laughed, offering her his arm as they made their way. “He's waiting for you.”

“...And Julia?”

Kravitz nodded. “She's there, too.”

And the world suddenly rolled out before her, and Lucretia felt Kravitz fall away, as the familiar sight of Magnus chopping wood suddenly came into view. He looked up, and the ax fell.

“You're here.”

Lucretia nodded, her hands clasped against her chest. “I am.”

He went to her, pulling her close. “You were very brave,” he murmured.

“Well I learned from the very best.”

“Hey.” He looked at her and smiled. “I learned from you first, I think.”

She laughed. “I _missed_ you.”

“I missed you, too.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you ready to meet her?”

“I've got nowhere else to go.”

Magnus grinned and took her hand. “Come on. She's ready to meet you, too.”

Lucretia followed, and felt herself getting further and further away from the world she'd left behind – though...it didn't break her, the way she thought it might.

It only made her happy, to know her family would be with her again, someday, as she walked from one place into the next, and felt, for the first time in _so long_ –

completely, and totally, at peace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics and title from "boats and birds" by gregory and the hawk.


End file.
